Top Ten

My top ten reasons why Cambodia feels like an alternate universe:

10. Trucks backing up noises. Of all the annoying Cambodia noises (roosters, hack saws, dogs fighting, blaring wedding music), this is pretty benign. But it is a very disconcerting noise because here, when trucks back up, they don’t go “BEEP BEEP BEEP” they go “Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells” or “We wish you a Merry Christmas.” I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to hear Christmas music the same way again.

9. The meat market. Markets here are arranged by merchandise category, so all the people selling similar goods are in the same general area of the market. When the merchandise is meat, it results in a scene of carnage that would rival any horror movie. It’s not just the cuts of meat, it’s so totally normal that people are picking up chunks of fat or stretching rolls of skin like it’s nothing. The market in my town seems to be especially fond of pig heads.

8. The same weather every day. We’ve been here about three months; there has been no indication of the passing of time. It’s hot. It rains for a little bit every day or two. Apparently at some point it will stop raining and get hotter.

7. Nobody says “Bless you” when someone sneezes. Nobody says anything. The silence still weirds me out for some reason.

6. Power outages. They are fairly regular, but the power sort of fades out, so the tv image starts to shrink and the lights all fade until it suddenly goes dark.

5. It being perfectly fine to talk about me, or anyone else, in very crude terms. “You’re fat” is really just the tip of the iceberg. For example, my mom’s best friend’s daughter has Down’s Syndrome and Tee, the guy who lives with us to help out with the housework is almost mute/can only make a few noises. Both things were apparent to me immediately, but both things have been explained to me multiple times, in front of the individuals in question. It is fairly common for people to make fun of Tee’s speech problems to his face.

4. No one ever getting mad. Ever. See #5. People are not allowed to get mad at this. That would mean losing face.

3. Laughing at everything. See #4. Instead of getting mad, the appropriate response is to laugh. Or rather, giggle. I have yet to find a student who can talk to me for 5 minutes without breaking down into a fit of giggles. Also, anytime I start speaking Khmer to someone who doesn’t know me well, even if I don’t screw it up, it results in a fit giggles.

2. The Third Front Tooth. At first I thought it was just an anomaly on one old lady, but I soon realized that the solution here for having a gap between your two front teeth is apparently to put a third one in the middle.

1. Being stared at. All the time. Everywhere. When groups of students form outside the classroom windows to stare at me sitting and watching a class, it really does feel like I’m at a zoo, and I’m the one on display.